The Adventures of the Riffed!
by kadapunny
Summary: Reimu has a trilling week, while somehow Spaztique and Stevo were riffing it!


As a normal day in the hakurei shrine... Spaztique outside the screen film screaming "The heck is this crap!? How is a day normal!?" Reimu Nun-san screamed "Shut the hell up and eat your popcorn!" as then Spaztique timidly sat down in a better position. Nun-san swept her leaves, and suspiciously looked around. She felt it. She knew an army of bloodthirsty ninjas were about to attack. However, she was still sweeping her leaves off a cliff of where Spaztique and Stevo sits.

After she was done, the absolute moment she was done, she glanced and saw what she knew! It was Aya the Ninja! Also, Momiji the Dumb! The Ninja screamed "I am here to take pictures of ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING! Even you Spaztique!" Spaztique then got behind a chair and was trying to pull out his book sword of justice.

Nun-san chucked her broom at blinding speed and hit Aya in the face! Falling back with blood absolutely everywhere, Aya shouts "Dumb dog, go bite that bad nun!" as then Momiji ran like lightning to Nun-san and bit her ankle! Dumbfounded, Nun-san didn't know what to do, since she didn't have her ninja broom.

Stevo helped pull out Spaztique's sword, and chucked it at Momiji in perfect position! Momiji's brain exploded, and she was now brainless. Nun-san recovered, and ran for it! She went into her house to get the erasers of evil erasing! As she got out, she hurled each one at Aya and Momiji as they were hailed on with erasers.

Just in time, Marisa the Witch soared across the sky, firing the master master spark laser at Aya and Momiji to finish them off. Then, a glint of Marisa ran off in the distance. Now there was a hole in the ground from all the lasers and fighting. Reimu went back to sweeping debris and other stuff from the ground as Spaztique and Stevo sat back down at the front.

Then Stevo shouted "Isn't there MORE ninjas or something?! That scene lasted like a whole five seconds! Two ninjas? That's pathetic!" After Reimu heard, she slugged an eraser at Stevo in the face as well. Reimu looked to the sunset, seeing it's wonder, and dropped her broom because of it's amazing-ness.

After a few hours passed, a few warriors of the highest caliber of 9 dashed up the steps of the shrine. Reimu sensed their coming, and readied her body. Every step, made Reimu that much more ready to battle these unknown prescenses. As the group reached the top, their faces were shown! It was none other than Cirno the Big, Wriggle the not so big, Mystia the bird that's kind of in the middle, and Rumia the annoying brat! The quartet of doom!

Cirno fired an icy spike at Reimu, and Wriggle coated it with bugs! Reimu dodged the attack just by a hair, but then Mystia threw calamari at Reimu's feet, and Reimu flew! Stunned, Nun-san didn't know what to do! She knew she was about to be attacked by a bunch of evil warriors! She apparently had more erasers of evil erasing, and started rapidly shooting them at the warriors, with precision.

As the ambushers scrambled after getting slugged at by Nun-san, Rumia went into the stage, Mystia went into the trees, Cirno went in plain sight, and Wriggle tried digging. Rumia tried to cast her evil spell on Spaztique so he couldn't see. Luckily, he had drank orange juice! He used his orange juice laser eyes to zap Rumia, and she was hit mortally!

Mystia and Wriggle tried to make a sandwich out of Reimu, but Reimu break-danced her way through them! They flew on both sides of the shrine, and Wriggle got knocked into Cirno! All the ambushers defeated, Reimu stole all their garments, to make sure they wouldn't harm anyone else.

Later that night, Reimu was finally done sweeping so she went to bed. She literally made her bed out of magical magic water of magic. As she slept, evil arises. Sanae Nun-chan was creeping through the shrine, making everything green instead of red. She also made everything with frogs and stickers. Reimu slept soundly, so she didn't hear a thing.

When Nun-san awoke, she saw everything was green! Even her food- oh wait, it's always green. Stevo screams "The hell?! Her food should be refrigerated! You suck at writing!" Reimu, mad, went to the local Kappas, and bought a Miko Hoagie. She hated, but she didn't have anything else. After getting fueled for the day, she flew off into the Mountain of Scouts.

Flying in every direction, she had to be careful, if she was caught, a million Tengu Scouts would beat her with fan bats! Spaztique shouted "Can you turn the wind effect down? It's already really cold in here! I literally need a toaster to keep warm!" and Reimu glided the rest of the way, in 90 degree weather.

As a scout saw Nun-san, it alerted absolutely any and every scout nearby, and they started swarming towards Nun-san. Reimu saw the evil swarm, and flew faster! The scouts started throwing baseballs, fans, flowers, and baseball bats! Nun-san was so fabulous that she somehow dodged all of those except for one baseball bat. She was then hit hard, and fell into a lake nearby.

She recovered in record time, and started scaling back up the mountain, but was soggy. As a trail of water leaked from her outfit, she started hearing the tengu again. Scaling faster, Reimu barely had enough energy left! Her magic miko suit was failing her! Finally, reaching the heart of the mountain, she found the shrine of the evil Nun-chan's shrine, and ran with a Samurai Claymore Sword of Justice Thing!

Slicing down the doors of the shrine, Sanae was alarmed! She and her parents were watching TV, being lazy, and Sanae's toast was almost done cooking! Spaztique shouted with a megaphone "Why do you need to add the toast part?! Toasts sucks too!" Sanae threw a plate of butter at Spaztique to make him stop interrupting the scene.

However, Reimu took this as a chance to slice! Sanae's awesome agility let her avoid the strike! Kanako, Sanae's mother, tried to take Reimu's blade! It was a long struggle that took twenty days and twenty nights! Just then, Stevo hollered "What is this, a childrens book!? Besides, why does the fight scene need to be as long as a Dragon Ball Z fight! I came here to see drama! Not two stupid people trying to cut each other with a dull sword!"

Reimu finally broke free of the struggle, and twirled to create dust and confusion! She then punched Sanae in the face and she fell through the other room! Kanako and Suwako, (Sanae's other mother) couldn't see anything and couldn't hit Nun-san! Reimu then got out a red paint bucket from her Miko Outfit and painted the whole shrine brick red!

Flying home in the sunset, Reimu felt content with herself, as she pulled a nice revenge on Sanae. She then went to her bed. Spaztique blurting out "Is this over yet, it sucks! Me and Stevo want our money back! Do you know who I am?!" Reimu then rocketed a broom at Spaztique.

The next morning, Reimu decided to look through her fridge, and got out a pancake, and a cereal oatmeal of wheat. As Reimu inhaled the food, she became _stronger_! Marisa bursted through the non-existent door, and screamed to Reimu, asking what day it was. Reimu then ignored her, and went through the non-existent back door. Nun-san flew to Makai, since she wanted to collect red rocks. As she was cutting through the forestry path, she used a machete to cut down everything in her way. As an annoying fairy got in her way, Reimu cut it OUT of the way.

She finally got there, and hopped into the portal. Shinki heard Reimu and was instantly absolutely furious! Sending maids left and right, Reimu had to avoid everything! Swords, knives and pa-fans! Reimu got hit by absolutely everything and fell. She felt doomed! As demons surrounded her, Nun-san got more and more scared!

Then, Shinki told her Demons to lower their weapons. Reimu was relieved and told how she wanted to collect red rocks since she loved red rocks. Stevo then got onto the story and shouted "That's not canon you idiots! Reimu, when have you EVER liked red rocks?! This isn't even Makai!" Peeved, Nun-san threw Stevo off the stage, and she collected her red rocks.

In the next morning "Hey wait! Why the hell did you change scenes so damn quickly!?" furiously screamed Spaztique. Reimu glanced at Spaztique with an eraser in hand, and Spaztique sat down. Nun-san then got the tea-coffee of waking up the light and making the darkness sleep and she drank it. Energized, she went through her day!

However, BUGS flew out of the ground! Everywhere, bugs! Reimu used her magic and erasers and brooms to defeat the bugs, but it wasn't enough! Even worse, it was five in the morning! She was outnumbered! Then she threw a card and everything exploded. Then, the forest near her started burning into ashes since her power was totally over powered.

Getting Nitori the Engineer to put out the fire, Nun-san felt she needed to train more. However, she decided she'd do it later and trudged back to her house, and watched a stone TV. Marisa then broke through the roof with her broom and ecstacly exclaimed her location. Reimu slugged a broom at Marisa, and told her to go to the broom factory since she was a witch. Marisa happily flew off.

Reimu thought her week was almost over, until nuculear bombs started going off! The scarlet devil mansion sold free candy! The youkai mountain ate Lily Whiterock! Everything was in chaos! Stevo and Spaztique got back on stage with their swords of justice! They rushed at enemies with lightning speed and defeated enemies while Reimu was flying to the boss of it all! None other than tensh-I mean Wakasagihime! The evil mermaid, she made everything upsidown! She was the bain of exsistance!

Spaztique, going through the crowd shouted "I hope you weren't about to say Tenshi! That's way too cliche!" As then Reimu got to Wakasagihime the evil mermaid of evil, they started having an intense dual, as Reimu was properly being right-handed throwing erasers at blinding speeds! Waka spit bubbles of doom and Reimu got hit! She fell to the ground, but then got up since that's what Touhou characters do! Stevo then said "We can have an underwater Touhou Game if we want! Stop with all the flying!" Reimu then chucked even more erasers and Waka eventually couldn't take more!

In one last attempt, Waka summoned so much bubbles, it was insane! Reimu couldn't handle so much evil at once! It was as if Waka was also erasing the good in the world! How manaical! What fiend would do such a thing? None other than the evil Waka! She summoned more and more bubbles to stop Reimu! Reimu couldn't handle so much danmaku at once! The sky faded! The earth turned yellow! Everything was in panic! This story's ink was running low, since Waka bubbled it all!


End file.
